The Big Think

It’s been a couple weeks since my last post and much has gone on since then. Erin and I spent ten very long days in Houston seeing to the funeral arrangements for her father, as well as starting the long process of dealing with his estate. As an only child, Erin had the difficult responsibility of making the decisions regarding his burial, memorial service, and disposition of his things, so I think it’s safe to say that those ten days aren’t something we’d like to repeat any time soon.

Thank you to all of our friends (and my mom and dad) who made the long trip to Houston for the short service. We may not have gotten very much time to talk to you each of you, but rest assured that your presence and love were felt and gratefully appreciated. We talked a lot about how supported we felt and how much your presence mattered to us. Really: thank you.

For now, please go to this page to see Harmon’s extended obituary. He lived a long and interesting life and will be missed. We were glad to see so many people learn the details about his life. I’ll be posting pictures there as we get them scanned.

Erin’s father passed away this morning at 1:30am. She’s been in Houston the past few days and got to spend a lot of time with him, but this still comes as a surprise. He had shown improvement over the last few weeks but may have had complications from an infection he contracted. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Sorry to be offline for so long. Erin’s dad is doing better and the doctors seem to think that he’s out of the woods. They moved him out of the super-intensive I.C.U. to a less intense ICU (that, apparently, saved on budget by dropping the periods). Then a couple of days ago they upgraded him again to a normal room. His numbers (hemoglobin, etc) are all trending in the proper direction and they’re starting him on physical therapy to regain the balance that he lost from being bedridden for a week.

The doctors are actually talking about him going home in the next week or so. I know it seems sudden if you just read my post below, but we’ve been through a whole week since I wrote that and he’s shown good recovery. For an 83 year old he’s strong (and stubborn) as an ox. Wait.. are ox stubborn?

Anyway, thank you all for your prayers, emails, and phone calls of support. It has meant a lot to us to know that we’ve got a web of friends who have our back when we go through something like this.

As some of you know, it’s been a busy few days for us. On tuesday we received a call that Erin’s dad had called 911 and the paramedics came and took him away. At first, the neighbor told us that it had been food poisoning as a result of eating tuna that had not been refrigerated in the aftermath of hurricane Ike. After making a few calls to the ER, we learned that he had been admitted and they were doing tests. Since we couldn’t do anything until we knew more, we stayed by the phone and waited.

A few hours later the call came from the hospital that he had been admitted to the MICU (medical ICU). The preliminary tests indicated a heart attack. We immediately jumped in the car and drove to Houston. When we got there, we were greeted by a very grave-looking doctor and some pretty bad news.

I won’t go into all the details here, except to say that her dad had indeed had a massive heart attack and they are still assessing the damage. He also had internal bleeding and very low blood volume/pressure. We came very close to losing him the first night and it took almost 48 hours until he was even remotely communicative. Thankfully, he’s been moved out of the super-intensive ICU into a less intensive level (but still ICU). His bleeding has stopped for the time being but the doctors have adopted a wait and see approach instead of the more aggressive go-and-look. This is partially due to his age (83), but also because the internal bleed and the heart attack are running counter to each other. They can’t explore the damage to his heart since he’s got a mystery bleed, and they can’t go looking for the bleed since his heart is so weak.

We’ve been on and off the phone with many people these past few days but couldn’t get ahold of everyone. So if this all comes as a surprise to you, and you’re a close friend, please be assured that you haven’t been demoted to the “we’ll call them when it’s all over” level of friendship. You’re all important to us but Erin and I have been in a very intense little circle of doctors, specialists, and each other for the past few days.

Your prayers are very much coveted and appreciated.

One more thing: if you have children or people you care about that may, in the event of your incapacitation, have to take on the responsibility of some pretty major decisions (Do Not Resuscitate orders, living wills, power of attorney, etc), then please- please- make those decisions now while you are healthy and not lying in a hospital bed. Make sure your loved ones know how you feel or at least know where to go to see your wishes. Fifteen minutes of uncomfortable thinking and ten minutes spent with a notary could potentially relieve your loved ones of some soul-crushing decisions. If you want, don’t even make it legal and official (except for the power of attorney). Just writing down your wishes somewhere known could immeasurably help. Please consider this. It doesn’t matter what you decide, but it does matter that your loved ones know you’ve made a decision and don’t have to make it for you in a time of extreme stress.

Jason

Welcome!

Today I am 39.

Today my blog is 5.

It just seems like a year ago that I was writing that. Ah, how fast they grow.

So this year has been another great one. We’re fortunate that there haven’t been any major calamities or hardships, and we’re very grateful to continue that streak. Here’s a quick rundown of what’s gone on this past twelvemonth.

• Went to Ireland- Erin and I spent an enchanting 20 days on the Emerald Isle driving over 1000 miles and seeing just about every major and minor interesting thing on the southern half of the island. More than anything, the trip showed me that the world is very big and, since we went during the olympics and got to see that spectacle from a foreign perspective, very small.

• Did another documentary- I’m about 60% finished with the 8 minute Young Life/Military film. Another rewarding experience that reinforced to me again how much I enjoy branching out and finding new and different ways to earn a living. The other day one of our neighbors introduced me to someone by saying “and this is Jason… he’s what we call a Renaissance Man”. Made my day, it did.

• Built a Really Big Thing. I embarked on a 6 month quest to build a solid wood entertainment center. It’s currently on partial hold as I get buried with work responsibilities, but it’s going to be a thing of beauty when it’s done. From the very beginning I made it a priority to build it as well as my current skills allow. It may not be as good as it’s possible to make it, but it’s as well built as my skills allow. I’m proud of it now and can’t wait to see it in the house.

• Passed out from the pain- from the now-it-can-be-told dept. A few months ago I got out of my desk chair and felt a pain in my left leg. A very bad pain. On a scale of 1 to 10 this one was probably a fifty-seven. Normally if I do something stupid like stub my toe or crack my knee, Erin will hear my muffled exclamations and ask if I’m okay. When she heard a weird noise from upstairs and I didn’t answer, she came up to find me doubled over in my chair breathing heavily. I managed to croak out a few mumbled words and then promptly went limp. Not something that you want your wife to witness. She said that I spent the next 20 seconds making gurgling sounds and she thought for all the world that she had just witnessed me having a stroke. The next thing I remember was Erin’s face a few inches from mine yelling our phone number into the phone. In the brief time I had been out she’d called 911 and shaken me back to consciousness. I managed to crawl/worm my way into the bedroom and before too long the room was filled with four paramedics and three very large firefighters. They hooked me up to an EKG machine, pulse, blood ox, etc, and determined that I’d be able to keep my brain after all. It wasn’t a stroke.
Ultimately it was determined that I had torn my left quadracep muscle and the pain from this had sent me away for awhile. It took me a couple weeks of hobbling around before I felt normal again. Not something I really want to repeat.

• Tripped- friend Sean invited me to be one of the Stupid Guys on his Stupid Guy Trip- an annual meeting of friends-of-Sean. They decide on one town to meet and jet off for a longish weekend of hanging out, deep discussions, and general guy-ness. I was most grateful to be included and count it as one of the highlights of the year. Plus, I got to see Milwaukee, which was wonderful in a Laverne and Shirley kind of way.

• Saw an audience see my work- my normal job involves playing music that I’ve arranged for an audience of 2000 people and seeing the reaction. It’s a tremendously gratifying thing and I always enjoy hearing them gasp or laugh or giggle at just the right moment, but this past summer I got to witness something different. I got to stand at the back of a room full of 150 people and watch them watch the first Military Video I did for Young Life three years ago. It’s the first time I’ve seen it in the presence of an audience. My heart was racing and my palms were clammy and at the end there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, including mine. Truly something humbling and wonderful and memorable to see something that I’ve sweated over for so many hours being used to touch people.

• Continued Making- Sean and I built a hovercraft and I learned all kinds of cool new skills. From learning RTV moulding to figuring out how to melt and cast lead from tire weights, I added some pretty nifty skills to my bag of tricks. My big birthday present this year is a new Scroll saw, and I plan on trying my hand at clock making soon.

• Propped- I got to build some really nifty props. A 6 foot diameter chandelier and a huge lighted prop clock that probably weighed 200 pounds, plus several tables and platforms. It’s such a joy to see the stuff that started life as vague thoughts an images in my mind become real and add something important to a show.

• Got my work published- most of the music I write is only for a season. I spend my time working on and playing the show, then the winners re-perform their act six months later. After this, the acts all go down in history and we begin again. There’s a record of the acts on DVD, which is a nice reminder, but Sing is really designed to see with a live audience. So when I was given the chance to orchestrate two hymns for the new Baptist/non-Baptist hymnal (they put different names on the cover depending on what churches buy them), I jumped at the chance. I ended up orchestrating “Soldiers of Christ” and “Grace that is Greater than All My Sin”. So if you’re ever in church and hear an orchestra play either one of those hymns, that’s my arrangement! Patrick brought me one of the hymnals a few months ago and right there on page seven under “orchestrators” and above a “famous name” is my very own name. I’m published! Neat!

• Audioed- I was able to continue my audio boom and post production work on several projects. The most interesting was a two night (all night) 15 minute film. The crew was great, the budget was big enough to pay my normal rate plus my bag rental fee (which helps pay for the gear), and the director of photography was a joy to work with. It was even fun, in a perverse kind of way, to soldier through the night with the 30 other people and try to keep focused on the technical aspects. Definitely worth it.

• Got my A/C fixed. I’ve been without an air conditioner in my truck for over three years now, and it finally just became intolerable. So I went down to the mechanic and had them give me an estimate. I should have done it years ago. It only cost me $350 to repair and recharge/convert the system. And while that’s $350 I could have spent on something much more fun (or saved), there’s really nothing like sitting in my car on a 110 degree day and not turning into a puddle. It’s been four months since I got it fixed and every time I get in there and flip the switch it still feels like a small miracle.

• Discovered Toffee Rolos- In Ireland I came across toffee Rolo’s. They’re only available in Europe and I positively lived on them for the 20 days that we were there. I bought a bunch of rolls (which must have looked alarming going through the X-ray machine) and regrettably finished off the last one not long ago. I’ll miss you, sweet toffee Rolos!

• Finally- finally- got new sunglasses- I was the dork wearing two pairs of glasses because 1: I loved my Serengeti’s that my dad bought for me over a decade ago. Hmm… well over a decade, and 2: I’m too cheap to buy a new pair. This would involve a trip to the eye doctor for a new prescription, a new set of normal glasses, and a pair of decent (maybe Serengeti’s again?) glasses. All told I was looking at many hundreds of dollars spent. When I happened upon a pair of clip on glasses the other day I gave them a try and $16 later I no longer look like a total tool. They’re polarized, which means I see all kinds of neat rainbow effects off of different surfaces, but I no longer have to deal with a pair of super scratched lenses and a missing temple piece. Told you I was cheap.

Lots more about this year, but as you can see it’s been a good one. I kind of like the idea of doing a “what I did this year” post on my birthday instead of on December 31st. With your indulgence I’d like to continue. Heck, if you get bored, just ignore me. If my reader numbers are any indication you’ve been doing that anyway (hi Mom and…uh, nobody else).

So 39 is here! Next year is a Big One and I’m strangely looking forward to it. A lot.

*follow up* As soon as I posted this it started pouring down rain. I love the rain. Twelve minutes into my birthday and I have my first present.

As many of you know, Erin and I got to spend last week up in Colorado. I had been hired to go shoot another video by a camp that hosts military soldiers and their families. Three years ago we went up to the very same camp and made the first video. They were so appreciative of the first vid that they wanted me to go and update it, so off we went again. For a whole week I shot footage around the camp (6 hours), conducted lots of interviews (8 hours), ate great food, and got to know the “other 1%”: the soldiers who make up our military (Army, in this case). They told some incredible stories. I had my perspective rocked quite a bit three years ago and worked really hard to make sure that their stories and their appreciation for the donors got through in the video. Through the whole process I have felt like all of my skills have been engaged. Technical: filmmaking, audio, lighting, framing, etc, and interpersonal: interviewing, getting to know people, keeping the “customer” happy, trust on camera, etc. I’ve felt completely “used up” and stretched to my limits while I strove very hard to put out something that would be high quality and hopefully have an impact.

Mission accomplished. I just found out that the people responsible for getting funding for the camp were able to use my video to raise half a million dollars for subsequent camps. This money has been used so that hundreds of families could come to camp together and reconnect after their soldier-parents had been overseas serving for one, two, or even four different deployments (up to 15 months per deployment). Seeing the appreciation on the families faces and knowing that I had a small part in that has probably been one of the most satisfying things I have ever done.

I’m definitely not taking credit for it, though. There were a few other key people who spent those three intervening years traveling around, talking to donors, interfacing with the military machine, and generally making it work, and they’re the real reason that the camp continues to this day. But I’m proud of the small part I was able to play and happy that I got to go back. It’s not often that we get to see the fruits of our labor used in such an obvious and meaningful way and I’m grateful to have seen first-hand the effect that my work had on these wonderful families.

Yes, we were gone. Yes, we’re back. 2250 miles to the mountains and returned, and all I brought back (besides 14 hours of interviews and b-roll) is a wicked head cold/allergies thing that made the 500 miles driven today pretty miserable. We’re all unpacked and I’m off to slumberland pretty soon, but I wanted to check in and say we made it. Oh, and after Katherine made such a big stink about not being able to comment on my blog because the safeties were all on, I removed them all just before we left so I could enjoy her long and bellicose comments. What did I get? Not a single comment from a reader. I did, however, get 250 spam comments.

So Kat, you lost your chance! If you want to comment, do it like everybody else and just tease me on your own blog. Preferably accompanied by a link.

I really like this pic of us:

Got an email tonight that’s got me all atwitter. It looks like I’ve been hired to do another major documentary project that will require some travel. I’ll post more in a few days when I have things confirmed (and if we can work out schedules), but I’m really jazzed about it. And the CFO of the company wrote me himself to tell me that he had sent word down to “absolutely use” me. Can’t get much better than that. Truly grateful that I’m able to do what I love so much.

Dang it, today is the Day Of Broken Things. I took my very favoritest wrist watch to the jewelers to have the battery replaced. It’s quite a nice watch that Erin gave me as a present many years ago, and has a bit of sentimental value to it (as well as some modest real value). I figured that a jeweler would be slightly pricier but would be worth it. I went to the Samuel’s Diamonds place that is now located where the old Krispy Kreme donut shop used to be (should have been a warning).

He actually put a battery in two of my watches- the other one was a gorgeous Bulova pocket watch that Erin gave me as a wedding present 11 years ago. The pocket watch works fine, but two hours after he installed the battery the Swiss watch quit. I don’t know what’s wrong. It was working fine until the battery ran out (usual set of symptoms… bad time keeping for days followed by complete shutdown). I’m rather miffed at the whole situation, partly because the lawnmower went belly-up today as well. I have to go in and talk to them about it tomorrow. Chances are that they’ll say they didn’t do anything wrong (says you), then I’ll counter by saying it was working fine when I brought it in (except for the battery). Odds that they’ll make it right?

One hint: donut shop.

Well, I started today with good intentions. Went to Sears to buy a bunch of stuff that I needed to do some much-needed maintenance on our lawn mower. New blade, spark plug, oil. Came back and installed everything and fired it up. It worked like a charm, but just as I was finishing the back lawn the mower started acting strange- coughing and running rough. After a minute or so of this it quit altogether and wouldn’t restart. Hmm…

The gas was a bit old, but I had put Sta-Bil in it to extend the life (hey, gas is expensive!). Near as I can tell, I think either the Sta-Bil didn’t work or the gas just went bad. From online discussions I believe I have hosed the carburetor. Drat.

So now I can either take it in to a repair place and get the carb cleaned, or I can be brave and try to repair it myself. I’m thinking I’m going to call and see how much it would cost to clean/rebuild the carb at the shop. If it’s very much (50% of the price of the mower, or about $125), then I’ll do it myself. Assuming that’s the problem and I repair it correctly, I’ll only be out the cost of the repair kit (about $25). If that’s not it then I don’t know what to do short of throwing more money at the problem and visiting the shop.

It’s been a good mower, and it’s only 6 years old, so I hate to buy a new one. Since I just mowed the yard I’ve got a few weeks to solve the problem before the grass starts to get too long again. Anybody know how to rebuild a lawn mower carb? Comments welcome.

What a pain.

Dangit! I just missed my 14,000th day! It was January 9th of 2008! I’ll have to wait another 3+ years for the next one! Shoot.

Calculate your own K-days.

Sing 2008 is officially in the books. What a great show. I got back this afternoon after two completely exhausting two weeks that were about as good as they could be. I’m so happy and proud of all of the work my groups put into it. Time for a well deserved rest. It’ll take me a week at least to recover and do all of my laundry.

Thanks to all of my friends who made the trip up from Austin (as well as Matt and Jenna in Waco) to see the fruits of the groups’ labor. For the record, the final results are as follows (if you went, you’ll understand the descriptions).

1st place: Kappa Kappa Sigma - 40’s sailors/swing club (Jump Jive and Whale)
2nd place: KOT (new orleans)
3rd place: Phi Chi (jail)

Remaining top 8 (no ranking awarded):

Chi Omega (barn dance/tresspassing)
Pi Phi (library)
ATO (hotel)
Tri Delt (day after Christmas)
Fiji (submarine)

The past few years I’ve branched out into building props for the show and this year I had the chance to build a few really fun ones. Here are some pictures of my creations:

Wagon Wheel Chandelier for the barn dance act. this was a lot of fun to build. I’m getting good at building round things, and wiring it up wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. The group ended up staining it and it looked GREAT on stage. Here’s a shot of it stained and laying sideways just offstage:

During their 2 minutes for setup the group puts the bulbs in and attaches the lampshades, then hangs it from the chains and plugs it in. The icky wood blocks are obscured by the lampshades and the whole thing hangs thirty feet off the floor.

A large 9′ tall grandfather clock. The door and clock face both open on hinges for the mice to peek out of.

Gear Stand in progress.

And my Piece de Resistance for the year, a 6′ diameter hanging clock. This thing is a monster, weighing well over 100 pounds. It looked outstanding onstage.

I also built two rolling tables (pictured here) and three benches, plus about 20-30 handheld discs that were painted as clock faces.

Here’s the painted clock face, and here’s what the stage looked like:

The big clock raised up at the beginning of the act. You can see the finished gear rack off to stage right (the left side), and you can just barely see the big grandfather clock in the center back behind the hanging clock. This was a really neat opening with all kinds of tick/tock/bong/cuckoo sounds, smoke, and slow motion going on onstage.

More pics:

600+ pages of music total.

Rehearsing the band (first music read-through) with some Sing Chairs looking on.

Dance rehearsals. I often go in to critique and help once the dancing comes together. This is one of my favorite parts of the whole process since we start to see it all coming together. It really starts to look like something!

Another Rehearsal

Kappa and Kappa Sig put on a coed act with 180 people onstage!

Me and Sing Alum Andrew Ginakis help out the ATO’s.

The “pre-stage” area (Roxy Grove Hall) right before the groups hit the main stage and perform for the whole audience. This group is Tri Delt. They had a (very colorful) “Day After Christmas” act.

Reindeer on pogo sticks.

Here’s one of the acts onstage. Yellow Submarine.

Me with Alliance Sing Chair Ryan Machen. Alliance put on an Island theme. Complete with:

Tiki Masks!

Alliance on stage.

Fifteen of my friends from Supper Club got to come up and see the show this year. We’ll need our own section of the house soon.

And here’s the band, without whom the show would be very… quiet. These guys are absolute pros at what they do. They’re able to see 16 acts worth of music (some years up to 20), and, in two or three days, they can perform the show almost flawlessly in front of a live audience.

Vince on bass in back, John on acoustic and electric, Pat on lead electric, and Scott on drums. Here we’re in the middle of a marathon rehearsal session.

John on guitar.

I love Pat’s funky orange axe.

The brass section! Well, 4/7ths of it anyway. From left to right: Rob, Tim, Jiro, and Chase.

Rob Page was one of my teachers when I got my Commercial Comp/Arranging degree. It was funny to have him sit and read my charts for two weeks. I kept joking that any mistakes were his fault since he didn’t teach me well enough in the first place. Rob’s a great guy who has played with some really big names (Really Big) and we’re lucky to have him on saxophone. The dude can rip a Think solo like you wouldn’t believe.

Music Producer Greg Bashara. Greg is responsible for hiring the band (based on what instruments I request) and making sure they get paid, so we’re really nice to him. He also listens to the house mix and acts as a liason between the enraged arranger (me) and the audio board when the fiddle mic doesn’t come on. Greg takes the brunt of my frustration.
I really like this picture. I stuck the camera down in front of Greg’s sax when he was playing between acts and lucked out with great framing.

Just realized that I didn’t get a picture of Barry this year. Barry handles synth and mini disc cueing. Nice to have somebody down there who’s been at it so long.

Some Sing Chairs:

ATO. They ended up going to Pigskin with their “Hotel California” act.

ADPi Sing Chairs Martha, Bethany, and Sammi. ADPi had the clock act. Unfortunately, they didn’t go to Pigskin, which was very disappointing, but they did a great job of leading their group, which is pretty new to the process. Looking for great things from them in the future.

Ryan, an Alliance chair, in his native islander garb.

The great guys from Phi Kappa Chi right after leaving the stage. They (obviously) had a prison act. Third place Pigskin!

Chi Omega chairs. They made Pigskin with their barn dance act (with the wagon wheel chandelier). Great bunch.

Tri Delt went to Pigskin with their Christmas act. Colorful!

Following is a three part panorama of the stage when they announce the winners. Pictured here are all of the Sing Chairs involved in Sing 2008. They decorate the stage with props from each of the acts. They also give out the people’s choice awards, announce the 8 that are going to Pigskin, then announce 3rd, 2nd, and finally, 1st place. It’s nerve-wracking for everyone involved.

I really like this pic. A chair shot it from the stage and sent it to me:

That’s 2200 people looking back at you.

First place this year went to the coed group of Kappa Kappa Gamma and Kappa Sigma. Here we are with the spoils:

Lots of parties happen after the show, and Erin and I always get invited to several and drop in on as many as we can. Here’s the Alliance party, where there was, hilariously, LIMBO!

I’m not as limber as I used to be.

The fun Alliance crowd, along with the gift they gave me: my very own Tiki Mask! He’s got attitude.

When I was in college I was never a big part of the greek scene. Between spending all of my time in the music building (music majors are notoriously busy), and not having the necessary funds to pay dues, I never really saw the purpose of the greek system. Now that I’ve been working with them for the past 18 years, though, I can see just how great it is. Sing is such an incredible leadership lab that I can’t imagine any mere class curriculum even coming close. These students (some of which are barely 19) have to work with large budgets, manage big groups of their peers, deal with outside professionals (arrangers, backdrop artists, choreographers, designers, costumers, etc), and take an act from nascent idea to full blown stage production. I’ve worked with over a thousand Sing Chairs in my career so far and overwhelmingly they’ll say how much the show taught them and how proud they are of their act. I have the extreme privilege of getting to be with them as many of them go from timid new Chair to confident leader. As always, I am incredibly blessed to get to do what I do for a living and can’t wait to see what the show brings next season!

All in all, a fantastic year.

(Just random thoughts, fairly unfocused at the start of a new year.)

The New York Times has a very interesting article this morning. Among other things, it discusses how each choice we make necessarily extinguishes other choices, and thus other versions of ourselves that might have been never get to be. It’s sort of the anti-many-worlds theory of reality.

Ghosts roam around down there, after all, and they are the worst kind — alternate versions of oneself. The one who did not quit graduate school, for instance. The one who made the marriage work. Or stuck with singing, playwriting or painting and made a career of it.

Lost possible selves, some psychologists call them. Others are more blunt: the person you could have been.

Over the past decade and a half, psychologists have studied how regrets — large and small, recent and distant — affect people’s mental well-being. They have shown, convincingly though not surprisingly, that ruminating on paths not taken is an emotionally corrosive exercise. The common wisdom about regret — that what hurts the most is not what you did but what you didn’t do — also appears to be true, at least in the long run…

Yet it is partly from studies of lost possible selves that psychologists have come to a more complete understanding of how regret molds personality. These studies, in people recently divorced and those caring for a sick child, among others, suggest that it is possible to entertain idealized versions of oneself without being mocked or shamed. And they suggest that doing so may serve an important psychological purpose.

Researchers find that people think about past foul-ups or missed opportunities in several ways. Some tend to fixate and are at an elevated risk for mood problems. Others have learned to ignore regrets and seem to live more lighthearted, if less-examined, lives. In between are those who walk carefully through the minefield of past choices, gamely digging up traps and doing what they can to defuse the live ones.

Glenn Reynolds has this to say:

I think this is an interesting subject. Even if all your choices turn out well, they’re still choices, and you only get to live one out of many possible lives; in doing so you necessarily extinguish many other possible lives. In fact, as long as the value of those possible lives is more than zero, it’s theoretically possible to be in a situation where you have so much potential that anything you do is in some sense a net loss…There’s even a mathematical model of life satisfaction as a function of options not exercised

I think it’s interesting, too, especially as we start off a new year. Everybody has regrets, but what’s done is done. Done. It reminds me of this, one of my favorite poems by Gwendolyn Brooks:

Exhaust the little moment
Soon it dies
And be it gash or gold
it will not come
Again in this identical disguise.

I know someone who lives most of his life in a state of semi-permanent reminiscing and regret about the past. How the past is gone, how this-and-such was such a great time. I’m always saddened by the fact that this person is letting irreplaceable time pass while living in an unchangeable past.

So 2008 is starting, and 07 is gone. I always like years ending in 7. I graduated high school in 1987, got married in 1997. I clearly remember new years’ eve on Dec 31, 1986. The calendar flipped and we saw the big “87″ in Times Square. I said-and it was caught on videotape at my friend Linda’s house-”1987! Now I get to graduate!”. If I could have seen my future self 21 years later I don’t know what I would have thought. At that point the future was such an unknown landscape that I tried not to think about it. Hard to imagine that once a similar amount of time has passed I’ll be almost 60. I’m beginning to see what it was all those oldsters were talking about. It really goes fast.

I’m going to make a list of things I did in 2007, like Barry does (or did! He’s been skipping out on the last few years, and I think he’ll regret not having the record sometime in the future). Suffice it to say, 2007 was another great year. Here’s to a great 2008.

When I was in college I had a vocal teacher named Richard Robinson. Mr. Robinson was a very kind and gentle man who really knew his stuff. He had a huge amount of experience and was a wonderful teacher. He taught me a lot not only about how to sing correctly (and teach singing), but also about how to be a better human being.

One of the funny things about Mr. Robinson was the fact that he had some kind of issue with his eyes. He was completely blind in one eye (I think), and the other one had muscle problems, so it couldn’t focus very well on one spot. The only problem was that nobody knew which eye was which! I would stand in my lessons singing for him but not know which eye to look at. It was very disconcerting and I never did figure it out.

I remember one wednesday (my lessons were always on wednesday at 10am) I had a lesson with him. I had been having a really terrible day for some reason. I don’t remember what it was- a bad test, a breakup, existential angst, it’s funny that I can’t remember now what had upset me so much then. Anyway, Mr. Robinson could tell that something was wrong. In the middle of my lesson he stopped and, with a very understanding look in (one of his) eyes, told me to go home and take a rest. I was always very grateful to him for that.

I received the Baylor alumni magazine a few days ago. In the “In Memoriam” section is the sad news that Mr. Robinson passed away. Just for the future Google record (he deserves that, at least) here’s his memorial:

Richard Robinson, 78, a Los Angeles tenor who premiered Igor Stravinsky’s “In Memoriam Dylan Thomas,” “Threni” and “Elegy for J.F.K,” and recorded many works under the composer’s direction for Columbia Records, died Sept. 6 in Bakersfield, California.

In addition to Stravinsky’s “Persephone,” “Canticum sacrum ad honorem Sancti Marci nominis” and “Noah and the Flood,” he recorded works by Schoenberg, Webern and Gesualdo, the latter conducted by Stravinsky’s close friend and biographer, Robert Craft.

Farewell, Mr. Robinson. Thank you for your teaching, your example, and your kindness.
Go home and take a peaceful rest.

A few weeks ago Erin and I attended my 20th high school reunion. I went to the first night of my 10th (the thinly-attended “mixer night”), but we decided to spend the next day at the lake house of a friend. I’ve always regretted that. This year we decided to do both nights, and boy am I glad. It was pretty amazing to see these people from 20 years ago, hear how their lives have gone, and see the changes they underwent over the past two decades. Many of them had kids, many were on their second or even third marriages, and a few are no longer with us. In fact, I was shocked to discover that my friend Casey Joyce was one of the first casualties of the Black Hawk Down incident in Mogadishu. I watched the Hollywood movie of the same name a few years ago. Little did I know.

One of the highlights of the evening was the group picture. My graduating class was 1250, of which there were only about 250 in attendance. Fortunately, that was about all the improvised stage could hold. 250 is a LOT of people, and when you combine them with spouses and significant others, it’s a big bunch of people. We grads were just barely able to squeeze into the frame. After the big picture was taken, they called all of the grads from each of the high schools (9-10th grade), middle schools (6-8th grade), and elementary schools (K-5). As each school was photographed the crowds got smaller, until there were only a few representatives of each elementary school. My own elementary school, Saigling, was represented by only seven graduates. As we were standing there getting ready to have our picture taken I was struck by the thought that, outside of my immediate family, these six people have known me, and I them, longer than anyone else. Since we were only ten years old. Almost thirty years have gone by and my life has always included the names Chris Howard, Erin Richter, Haven Ford, etc, etc. It was quite a mind-blowing moment:

One of the best parts of the evening for me was receiving an award for “most unusual job”. Made me proud, it did.

I can’t imagine how someone would miss their 20th. See you all in ten years!

Welcome!

Today I am 38

Today my blog is 4.

You’ll probably notice something different if you’ve been around here for any length of time. The place looks new. Actually, it is new. New carpet, new furniture (not much of that yet), and some spiffy new fixtures.

I applaud and thank my previous host for putting up with me these past few years, and while the price was right, there were some speed issues that made it necessary for me to make the jump. You’ll probably notice that the page loaded right up without a hitch. That’s because I’m now being hosted on some serious hardware. My good friend Sean has offered to hook me up with a great hosting service and I have gratefully accepted, so from now on you can expect some good response time.

You’ll also probably notice that this is the only post here. I have to get the old site archived and moved over to the new server. Until then it’ll be a bit bare around here but hopefully things we be back to normal in a week or so.

I wanted to make today the official rollover time for the new blog because it’s the fourth year of my writing here as well as my 38th birthday.

Yup, 38! Last year I talked about how weird it was to hit the “official” middle-age number of 37 (assuming a statistical 74). While I believe that the current generation can expect much more than that through medical breakthroughs, it’s still strange to reflect on how fast time is moving us all downriver.

This past year hasn’t seen many life-altering changes (for which I’m grateful), but I have got to experience some rather fun stuff. To wit:

Erin and I celebrated our 10th anniversary with a blowout trip to California (I’d link to the post here but it’s in limbo right now). We spent 11 days, splitting the time roughly equally between San Francisco, Sequoia National Park, and Napa/Sonoma wine country. Erin had never been to California and seen where I grew up so it was a fun experience for her. Like all of our vacations, when we got back she started planning on the return!

I also spent a back-breaking and totally exhausting three months completely remodeling my studio/office from a spare bedroom to a fully fleshed out recording space. To say that I’m giddy about it would be an understatement. Even three months later I still pause when I walk in here every morning and look around with pride and satisfaction. And I know how tardy I am with pictures. That was mainly because the old server was so slow. Now that I’m on a speedy site I’ll have the pictures up. In fact, I’ll make it my first priority.

I shaved my head. Yup, I went cueball. I had joked for a few years that I was going to finally shave the head and the beard but friends didn’t believe me. So on monday, February 26th I took a razor to it all. How long had I had the beard? Here’s some fun stats:

From and including: Friday, June 27, 1986
To and including: Monday, February 26, 2007

7550 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Or 20 years, 8 months including the end date
Alternative time units
7550 days can be converted to one of these units:

* 652,320,000 seconds
* 10,872,000 minutes
* 181,200 hours
* 1078 weeks (rounded down)

Kinda fun to realize how long it had been. It was definitely a unique feeling to not have any facial or head hair. Made me look a bit thuggish as it was growing back in. Here’s me right after the deed was done.

And since you all know what I look like bald I guess I’ll never be able to shave it and hide from Johnny Law.

This year I also continued my audio career. I got to run the boom and do post for several really fun projects. It’s exhausting work but the crew is a hoot to work with and the director is top notch. I got hooked up with this gang a few years ago when I volunteered for Austin’s 48 hour film project. It was a propitious event that has had long lasting ramifications ever since. I’m very happy that it has led to work that is not only fulfilling professionally but also in line with my personal beliefs. I mean, sometimes you have to do the job just to get the paycheck, but when you’re able to make a living and do it working on projects that you believe in, why that’s just icing on the cake.

Got food poisoning. Ick. Either some bad pepperoni or something else gave me the worst case of food poisoning I can imagine. Well, I can imagine worse, but I wouldn’t wish that on an enemy. I could have done without that three days.

What else? Well, I put another year of Sing into the books. This one was, in my humble opinion, the very best show that I have seen in the past 17 years. I’ve always been really proud of all our work on the show, but this year things came together better than ever. I was really proud of all of the groups and thrilled with the outcome. If you’re in Waco the weekend of November 1st, come on down and see Pigskin Review (the best of Sing from last year). I think you’ll be entertained.

This year I also dipped my toe into Facebook after the site went public. It used to be restricted to college students but since it was opened up to the masses has become a great meeting place for everyone. I’ve gotten a ton of happy birthday messages from friends and clients.

Erin and I went to dinner with some friends last night and got to talking a little about work and life and I was reminded again of my good friend Barry. Barry and I have very similar job/life balances (he’s the other Sing arranger), and our conversations always seem to drift back to how blessed we are to be doing what we love. This past year has been more reinforcement for that and I’m grateful. No major illnesses (well except for that food poisoning bit), no unpleasant life surprises, and wonderful time spent with great people.